Cedars and Wheat
by Sabrina Mellark
Summary: He's taken my family from me. I'm all alone. i fight for my survival, i do what i have to, to make sure i'm fed. i will stay alive. he can't kill me, he wont kill me. i hide in the shadows, the only time i make an appearance is for school, to make money, and for the reaping. no one can know about me, no one knows about me and i intend to keep it that way
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story called Cedars and Wheat. It's the first time I've ever made a story while working on a different one at the same time. This should be fun! Well okay. Enjoy!**

Many don't know the story of a family with five.

The husband a spy and had them all burned alive

He was from the capitol, sent out for information.

That is until he met a young rebel woman, and had to show his appreciation.

She had given him food and clothes to last

He fell in love and let go of his secret past.

But to Snow it was unacceptable, he needed the job done

So he let go of his wife and daughters and son

If the job wasn't complete it would be his life

So he set the house on fire while his children were asleep next to his beloved wife.

He hated what he'd done and went in to save his family

But he could only rescue two and the remaining deaths were a tragedy

No one knew about the two children who'd survived

But they quickly found a way to keep themselves alive.

They got jobs for food and a place for sleeping

All was fine until the day of the reaping

The chirpy capitol woman selected a slip from the bowl and read the name

It was the boy, who survived the plot of his father

And he left his little sister who was still but a toddler.

She grew up in a house with a very mean couple

She stayed with them for the food but she always got in trouble.

For crying at night and sucking her thumb

She was bullied at school and told she was dumb

It became even worse when she watched her brother's games

And saw him get killed by being pushed into flames.

It was the same way the rest of her family passed

And her brothers killer had won the games at last.

He was the only family she had left

Now she's determined to avenge her families death.

She knows that it was snow who is to blame

Why her family has all gone down in flames.

It was because her mother was a rebel so she had to be killed,

Then when it was known she and her brother survived, the reaping bowl was rigged.

Snow knows about the little girl but now she's not so little

She's out there somewhere, planning the fall of the capitol

She's out there and she wants snow to see

That I am a survivor, and that he can't hurt me


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey did you like my little poem. If you did please review and tell me what you think. I forgot to put this in the last update. Well here we go. Enjoy.**

I finish wrapping my right wrist with the cloth I purchased from the black market and tuck it in. I pull my shirt over my head and slide my arms into the sleeves. I tuck it I my jeans and put my belt on to hold them up. I step into my boots and tie the laces tight. I roll up my sleeping bag and toss it to the back of the cave I live in. I gather my pot, bowl, cup, and utensils into a big pile and cover it with a small quilt of moss I stitched together. This way it just looks like a moss covered rock.

I kneel in front of the pond in front of me and wash my face then wipe my hands over my hair. I take the hair tie off of my wrist and put my hair up in a ponytail. I throw on my black hoody, then put a black leather jacket ontop then pick up my book bag from behind a rock and pull it on my back.

That's where I live, in a cave. Here in district nine there aren't many caves but I was fortunate enough to find one. I live alone, my family was killed in a fire, and my older brother was killed in the hunger games arena. I used to live with this couple but I hated them, and when I turned eleven I took some of their things that I'd need and I ran away.

I walk through the wheat fields that seem to go on forever. Our district supplies the grain for the capitol. I personally don't think they need it, much less deserve it. So that's why I don't slave away in the fields all day like most people do. I would never help to fuel the capitol. I hate it and its inhabitants. President Snow had my family killed and someday I'll get him back for it.

I'm on my way to school which starts at 8 but since the walk from my cave to school is about an hour long I wake up before sunrise and prepare for the day. I get my water from the pond and wash in there as well. I supply myself with stolen food from the black market, or if I have money, I purchase it. The money I make is from prostitution. I don't like to do it but I have to. Booker is the man's name, in his mid twenties so at least he's not old. I made a deal with him, 20 dollars a day 5 dollars an hour. He accepted. I go there every Saturday from 9 am to 1pm and I'm usually cranky and tired afterwards.

I have a way to get meat as well. There is this hawk that flies around, a really big hawk and I stole it's eggs once. So it pretty much hated me. But then I found it in a trap in the outskirts of the district which is around where I live. It's wing was crushed under the cage door and there were two men coming to get it. I rescued it and nurtured it back to health and eventually it began to trust me. Now she goes and kills small animals like rodents and such and brings them to me. I don't mind eating rodents, I mean meat is meat.

I make it to town just as the sun is noticeable from above the many pine and cedar trees we have in this district. I walk through town and stop in the mirror of the pawn shop to fix my clothes and hair. My big brown eyes stare back at me and I just can't help but think I look beautiful. Even in my raggedy torn up, worn down clothes. Unwashed hair and is only about 85 pounds. I know my weight is not normal because I don't get to eat as much, and I'm not as big as the other girls, they have curves and are plump. I'm a twig. But unlike most girls I do have a large chest. Most of the women here are flat chested. That's why I'm booker's favorite.

They serve breakfast at school, so I eat there. Blueberry muffins and milk. It's always enough to last until lunch. And sometimes when the lunch lady isn't looking I sneak extra muffins into put in my bag so I have a meal for later. I sit out in the schoolyard on the stairs when I eat, I mean it's not like I talk to anyone. When I enrolled myself in here I had the principle only call me by my last name, Hemlock. There is no reason they should know my first and unless I'm called at the reaping they will never know.

I quietly eat my food, ignoring the comments of the so called, "popular girls". If chewing gum all the time, gossiping, and boy hunting is considered popular then I'm not one of them. And I don't want to be. I can't even afford gum; God knows where they get it. I don't like to gossip about people and tell others stories about a person that aren't true because I definitely wouldn't like it done to me. And I'm not attracted to any of the boys here, and it's not like they're attracted to me either. So count me out of any of that.

The girls giggle and point at me. I try so hard to ignore them but when I snap I actually curse them out and make them shut up. They feel stupid in the end but they continue anyways. Today I will try; I'm not trying to get another detention for beating someone senseless.

I get up when I've finished my muffin and begin drinking my milk. I walk inside of the school and the girls follow. I guess they wanna get beat up today. I walk into the girl's bathroom and throw the empty carton into the trash. The girls come in, there's only about three of them. I wash my hands and dry them with a paper towel. They stand watching. I take my hair out of the ponytail and it falls to my elbows.

I comb my hair with my fingers. They're still standing there. "Do you three need some assistant or something I mean there are other sinks and stalls if you need to use one". They laugh again and one girl steps forward and says. "Aww, little hemlock has to fix herself in the bathroom mirror. What, there's no mirror at your house to show how ugly you are" she says and starts laughing.

"You're one to talk, how many classes have you missed because your mascara messed up" I say back still looking at myself in the mirror. "You call me ugly; I'm not the one who covers my face with layers of makeup". I put my hair back in its high ponytail. I take off my jacket and stuff it into my book bag. I unzip my hoody, and untuck my shirt and straighten it out over my belt.

"You should fix that hair of yours, nothing but split ends" one girls says in disgust. "I like my hair as a matter of fact, and I don't need beauty tips from you and your fake hair" I say to her. My hair does have split ends, my bangs go past my chin and on the right side I have a short bang to cover my eye.

The girl is taken aback and I smile to myself. I throw my bag over my shoulders and walk out of the bathroom. School, starts in a couple of minutes and I don't want to be late for home room. I continue walking down the hallway when I hear their heels clacking behind me. "Look girls she's scared" the girl says. I keep walking and soon the hall fills with students. I get to my locker and open it. I put my jacket in it and take out my books. I shut the door and turn and see the girls, upset. "You wanna fight us" she says loud enough for the students to hear and they all gather around. "Look I'm not in the mood to kick any asses today so please just go to class." I say. "Oohh" the students all say. I roll my eyes and begin to walk out of the crowd when I'm pushed. My books and my bag fall out of my hand and I land in some boys arms. He holds me steady and I break out of his grip

I have lost my patients. I turn around and see the girl waiting. I step up and throw a punch. I knock her right in the jaw and she falls back and hits the floor, her lip bleeding. She runs way with tears in her eyes but the other two stay. The students are chanting, "fight! Fight! Fight!" but I ignore them. I gather my books and my bag. I look back at the girls but they don't budge.

I walk away and continue to my classroom. The bell rings and we all sit in our seats. I set my bag down next to my chair and wait for the teacher to call attendance. Five minutes later the principle walks in and excuses himself, then asks for me. Great!

I get up and grab my bag, throw my books into it and leave out with the principle. He takes me aside and says. "Why are you always fighting". "No that isn't fair, she hit me first!" I complain. He stops me, "I understand, but hitting her back doesn't fix the problem, it doesn't help anything. I always let you off the hook because you're a straight A student but your behavior isn't good at all. Stop fighting do you understand". "I'll stop if they'd just leave me alone. I never do anything to them. Ever!" this time he doesn't say anything. "I was just sitting outside eating and they started messing with me and insulting me" I start to tear up.

I try not o but I can't help it. I'm really sensitive. "Hemlock, you're not in trouble. I just wanted to tell you to stop fighting. If someone does something to you, doing it back doesn't make the situation any better, because the person might have the upper hand.", "well I've always grown up saying, 'they hit me, I hit them back harder'". "Alright well I'm telling you to get your attitude together or you're going to be in trouble next time." "Okay. I'm sorry" I say. "Good. Now go ahead to the bathroom and wash your face".

At lunch we're served hoagies wrapped in plastic wrap. I snatch two and hide the second one under my tray. I get the rest of my lunch then walk over to a table and sit. No one minds where anyone sits. If they don't like you then you'd better not talk to them, or there will be a problem.

I eat silently and put the second hoagie into my bag. A shadow falls over me and I just hope it's not those girls again. I don't even bother turning around. "hi" a voice says, a deep voice. I turn my head and see a guy standing with his tray. "hi" I say back in a lower voice. "This seat taken" he asks. I shake my head and he sits down. I move over a bit so he can fit.

I eat awkwardly. "So you got a name" he asks. I almost choke. He wants to know my name; I'm even surprised he decided to sit here. "Hemlock" I say. He nods, "I'm haul" he says. "Okay". I go back to eating, but I can't help but take him in. his dark hair is up; styled nicely to look as if it could block the sun from his eyes. His eyes are a dark brown, and his skin is a tan color in this dim light. I look away and keep eating. "Aren't you in my geography class" he asks. I shrug, "I don't really know anyone in this school". "How about you get to know me". He is too forward. I look him up and down cautiously, "I'm not sure" I say. He considers this, "okay, well. I give you some time. I know I must seem really forward". I nod at that, "yeah, you are". He laughs. It's a nice laugh and I can't help but smile. "Alright I'll leave you alone to eat" he says. I finish eating and drink my carton of fruit juice. When I finish I awkwardly tap his shoulder. "Could you save my spot for me" I ask. "Sure". "Ok, thanks" I grab my tray and go to dump the trash into the trash bin. I go back and sit down.

I thank him again and he holds out an open bag of plain chips. I've seen these, but I could never afford them. "Oh, no thanks" I say. "Go ahead I don't mind" he says. I reach in a grab a chip. I eat it and it has to be one of the best things I've ever tasted. "Wow that's good" I say to him surprised. "Yeah I know. Here you can take more, if you want. Just like a handful" he says. A handful! That's a lot. "No, I don't want to eat all of your food". "you're not I have another bag. Here, take it" he puts the entire bag in front of me. I push it back to him, "no I couldn't" I say. "I want you to have it" he says. I smile, "thanks".

I eat the chips one by one, savoring the flavor. They crunch when I bite down on them and they taste like they have salt, another thing I can't afford.

The bell rings again and I get up. I roll up the bag of chips that I still haven't finished and put it in my bag. "Thanks again" I say. "No problem. I guess we could sit together for lunch tomorrow, and I'll bring you another bag of chips" he says smiling at me. "okay." I wave to him and head off.

He was nice, very nice. I always thought of everyone as mean, I always thought they hated me but I guess not everyone is like that. The only person hateful enough to keep me in my cautious state is president snow.

I try to remember what the principle said, 'if someone does something to you, doing it back doesn't make the situation better because they might have the upper hand'. Snow does have the upper hand. He's taken my family from me, and doing something about it wont make the situation better. He could have me killed, he could have me captured, tortured turned into an avox. Anything.

Maybe he's right, maybe I should just stop thinking I can do something about it. And forgot the past. Maybe it's the only think I can really do. It's just that I really, really don't want to.


	3. Chapter 3

**I hope you all liked that last chapter. I tried to make her seem as different from katniss as I could because her situation kind of seemed like what Katniss does. Anyway, enjoy.**

"Hey!" Haul says after school running up to me. "Hi" I say still a little shy. "You on your way home" he asks. I nod. "You need someone to walk you" he says generously. "No thanks. You don't need to do that". "no I don't mind, I don't have to be home until ten". "I don't even know you" I say matter of factly. "you said you were going to think about getting to know me remember". I stop in my tracks, "fine, tell me about yourself" I almost yell. "C'mon let's sit down, take time out of my day" I add sarcastically. He looks hurt. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you I was just trying to be nice." "Why, no one else is nice here, why should you be any different!" I scream."I just wanted you to have a friend, so you wouldn't look so sad all the time, I feel bad. I jut wanna help you out!" he yells back. "I don't -need- your help! I can take care of myself!". "Fine stay friendless! Last time I try to be nice to you" he says and walks away.

_Damn you snow!_ I think to myself. I get the opportunity to actually make a friend and get some help around here but I fear he'll just be taken away from me. I fear I'll lose anyone I begin to trust because snow will just have them killed. I fear he's trying to take away everyone I love so I don't have anyone. And I know he's only doing it because of my mother. He must think that I'll follow her rebellious ways, and I am, but I just don't know what to do to start a rebellion. I thought I did but that was just me using my imagination. This is real life. Life isn't like a video game; you don't get a second chance. Once snow gets his hands on me. I'm dead.

**Haul POV**

I was just trying to help her, there's no reason for her to yell. But that was why I was trying to help right? Because she's always looking so upset, and I just cant help but think about how beautiful she is. I've noticed her since last year when she walked into class with her hair down for the first time. I'd never really seen her face, because of her bangs but she was frustrated, and she pushed her hair out of her face. Her lashes were so dark and thick I thought she was wearing mascara. Her plump pick lips where formed into a scowl and her eyes stayed on the floor. It was winter and her nose and cheeks were red. I just, couldn't take my eyes off of her.

I will always love her and I want her to be able to trust me. But I can't even do that!

"Haul" I hear my name. I turn and see my best friend Jett. "hey" I say when he gets to my side. "I saw you talking with that girl you like at lunch. You said you were going to try and walk her home why aren't you" he asks. I suck my teeth, "she's mad at me for being nice". Jett laughs. "well don't you want to see her, lets follow her, see where she lives. You can go apologize" he says. "for being nice!" I shout. "yeah" he replies. "fine your right I should just apologize" I say. "lets go I saw her heading into the wheat fields, maybe she has a house down there or something." He says and we run off to the fields.

I see her in the distance, walking. Her black book bag on her back. I watch her as we walk. We must've walked about a mile or two, it's been an hour and she's still walking. "Uggh how long is she going to walk, I'm tired" Jett complains. I shrug. I just want to apologize to her.

I see to my right a very, very large wall of stone, tree's around it, boulders surrounding the area. I didn't know this was down here. "Wow, never saw this before" Jett says. "We never walked this far before, we always got tired after twenty minutes" I say smiling.

Hemlock turns towards it and we follow, hiding behind the boulders. We get closer and see a line of string hanging from one boulder to another with clothes hung on it. Shirts, jeans, underwear. Wow! That's a big bra.

She goes inside of a cave and I hear dishes clatter and a puff like sound. She drags out a large red duffle bag. She unzips it and takes out a shirt. She sits down next to a pond and dips the shirt inside then rubs it together a couple of times, rings it out then hangs it on the line.

She's washing clothes? What.

She washes more clothes and replaces the dry ones with wet ones. She takes off her jacket and tosses it aside. She pulls her ponytail out and sets her hair tie down. She steps out of her boots and kicks them away, then pulls her jeans down revealing her black underwear. I blush red and look at jett with my mouth wide open. He doesn't even bother looking away, he stares as she strips her clothes off until she's fully naked.

I know I should look away but I don't want to. I get hard and I want so badly to orgasm but Jetts' sitting right there.

Hemlock walks around the pond revealing her front. I take in those breasts and that dark brown bush she has between her legs. She kneels down and grabs a bar of soap from a clump of moss. A towel lays on a boulder. She's going to wash up? She lives here! In this cave, but, where's the rest of her family? Why is she all alone.

She gets into the water. It goes just above her breasts. She goes under the water and comes back up then begins to soap up her body. I swear I'm drooling. "Uggh, I want that body" jett says to me under his breath. "No. I already said that I wanted her" I say back. We go back and forth for a minute, but then stop when we realize we're getting to loud. We look back to see her again, but she's gone.

**Hemlock's POV**

I shake my head so the water in my ear goes out and I hear whispering. I look around and quickly get out of the water and wrap myself in my towel. I get my knife and quickly go to the source of the whispering. It's coming from behind a boulder. I climb ontop of it and look on the other side. I see to boys. "where'd she go" one asks. "I don't know" the other says. They both look around the boulder again and I slide down in front of them.

I hold one boy down and hold my knife to his neck about to yell but then I see his face. Haul! "you!" I shout, and get angry. I press the knife to his neck. "what are you doing! You fucking perverts!". "oh man she's got a knife!" the other boy yells. Haul says, "I came to apologize for…", "and you thought that it was okay to follow me after I said to leave me alone. Then watch me wash up!" I shout at them. "what did you see" I say looking at the other boy. "Everything" he says. "Do you two want to get slashed to death" I threaten. They shake their heads quickly. "Please no, I wanna live" the boy says. "Why are you here" I ask looking back at haul. They don't say anything. "Talk" I say I put my knife to the other boys throat. I am really not kidding about killing them. "Here, I have money" he says taking a handful of dollars out of his pocket. He hands it out to me. I look him up and down and snatch the money and count it. Sixteen dollars. I don't take charity from people, it makes me feel weak. "What do you want for it" I ask immediately. He looks confused. "What?". "You gave me sixteen dollars, what do you want for it". "What can I get for it?" he asks confused. Haul looks confused as well.

I shrug, "a blow job, you could fuck me. Whatever you want". His eyes widen and he starts to stutter. "well, I-, you know- but, -I" he clears his throat. "I'll take whatever I can buy" he says. I turn to haul and look to the ground so I don't make eye contact. "You too" I ask him. He shakes his head, "no. no thanks im good" he says and moves away a little. "Don't tell anyone about this" I say to the boy. He nods eagerly. I unwrap my towel and drop it and my knife to the ground.

I'm not shy about this or about my body. I'm used to it. And my comment of asking him what he wanted is just a habit.

I let him look at me first. He stares at my face, then his eyes flick downwards, then lower. I wait for him to make the first move. "Your move" I say. He makes a face that says 'really?'. I nod and wait. His arm reaches for me and pulls me closer to him by my waist. I hold onto his shoulders and wait. I feel his hand on my thigh then between my legs and into me. He fingers me and I open my legs for him a bit. He sinks to the ground and licks me, sucks on me and I lean against the boulder moaning. I see him give Haul and thumbs up. But I don't care.

The boy gains confidence and he presses me against the boulder. He gets up and has me face him. He sheds his skin tight t-shirt and reveals his muscular body. I smile at him and touch his abs. I'm not really fascinated by them but I learned that when it comes to prostitution you have to make the man feel good about himself and act as if you're enjoying your time with him. I sometimes get tips for that.

"You work out" I say to him rubbing him all over his torso. "Yea" he says back and presses his body to mine and kisses and bites my neck. My head is forced towards Haul and I look up at him, "what about you, you work out" I ask. He looks at me then us, and nods slightly.

Jett undoes his jeans and rotates us so his back is against the boulder. I kneel before him and take his penis out of his underwear. I take him into my mouth and suck him all the way up and down his shaft. I lick the tip and then suck harder. He's not big enough for my taste, but I'd better be grateful he's not small.

The boy's moaning gets louder, "oh! This girl knows how to suck some cock" he says breathlessly. I take him out of my mouth and lick him up and down his shaft. He has me stand up. He lifts me up with ease and gently brings me down on him and he slips right in. I wrap my legs around him and hold on tight so I don't fall.

He turns around and puts my back to the boulder. He pushes in deeper and I moan. He slides in and out of me. He must have never done this before because he's holding back. I know what it's like for someone to give me there all and it's much more than this.

"this your first time" I ask. He nods. "sorry if I'm not as good" he says back in a low voice. "no, your doing fine. Just do what I say okay". He nods. "fuck me harder" I say. He pushes harder, "harder" I say again. He does it harder. "oh yes! Hit the back!" I moan. He tries to follow my directions and I just keep repeating until he gets it right. "hit the back. Hit the back" I repeat and he does. I feel it. I might not like to do this all the time but, hey, it's still sex. I should get to enjoy it too.

"Faster!" I moan and I don't even have to repeat it. He does it immediately. We have a steady pace that is driving me crazy. Boom boom boom boom, it's quick. Just then the boy yells and I feel him come inside of me. I moan loudly and then release my tight grip on him.

He carefully puts me down and I sink to the ground to catch my breath. He does the same. "I recommend you tuck that away now" I say to him. He zips his pants up. I grab my towel and wrap myself in it. Haul comes over and says, "I wanna say I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier" he says. I shake my head, "you didn't do anything wrong I promise you. I'm just a pain" I smile. "maybe you can meet me tomorrow and we could get to know each other better" I offer. He smiles and nods. "okay, and I'll bring you chips at lunch". "okay" I laugh. "alright, bye" they say to me walking away.

I wave back and as soon as they turn their backs to me my smile is gone.


	4. Chapter 4

I walk through the school yard and up the stairs into the school. I head straight for the bathroom and use a stall. I go to the sink and wash my hands. I look in the mirror at myself and see a hickey on my neck. "Uggh" I groan to myself and pull my ponytail out. I put a section of my hair over the hickey to hide it, and then put my hood on so my hair stays in place.

I pick my bag up from off the floor and put it on one arm, stuff my hands into my pockets and go on about my business.

School starts soon and I go to my locker. I put my leather jacket in there and take out my books. I am about to close it when the boy from last night walks up. "Hey" he says. I look at him, "hi" I start putting my books into my bag one by one. "so, do you think you'd be up for more tonight" he says. "how much you got" I ask. "twenty" he says. "sure, but come at like eight or nine because im going to be with Haul until like six" I say. "alright" he says. "so do I give you the money now, or…" he looks over my shoulder. I turn around and see the girls who are always starting trouble with me. I still don't know there names. The one I punched has a red scab on her bottom lip. "oh im sorry, am I interrupting something" she says. "what do you want Verla" the boy says. So that's her name. "oh hi Jett I didn't see you there". "we're talking so could you go, your locker is down the hall, incase your lost" I say. "oh no I wasn't, I was on my way there actually but we couldn't help but overhear your conversation".

"Which is none of your business, goodbye" I say back. "Oh no I heard him say something about giving you twenty dollars and then coming to your place at eight. Could it be what I'm thinking it is, what a shock" she says and puts her hand to her mouth to sarcastically gasp. The other two girls laugh. "I didn't know you could think, that is a shock" I say and gasp sarcastically back mimicking her.

"Hey Hemlock" Haul says walking over and standing next to Jett. "Hi" i say. "We're still up for after school right" he says. The girls laugh, "wow, what a slut." One girl says out loud. That gets everyone's attention. "I knew she was a horny little slut from the minute I saw her. In eighth grade" the other girl says. Everyone laughs. "Yeah, she's eighteen and the only job she has is prostitution" Verla says.

I feel the tears in my eyes but I can't cry in public. I zip up my book bag, slam my locker closed and quickly walk off. "Hemlock, c'mon don't listen to her" Haul calls after me. Everyone laughs and points at me. "hemlock the hooker" they're saying. I leave the building and as soon as I step out into the heat I let my tears fall. I go down the stairs and begin to leave the school yard when Haul grabs my arm. "don't leave" he says calmly. I try to break free, "let go. Let me go!" I cry. "no, don't leave c'mon" he says pulling me into a hug. I cant break away. For years I've longed for someone to hold me when I cried and now I do. I cant say no.

"Don't listen to what she's saying, it's not true" he says rubbing the back of my head. "it is true" I sob. "what?" he asks. "all the money I make is from prostitution. I go to the victors village every Saturday to spend the day with Booker" I say. "you go to booker" he whispers to me un able to believe it. I nod. "jett wants to come back tonight, he says he has twenty dollars". "Why do you do that" he asks. "I need the money!" I explain and sniffle. I bury my face in his shirt as I sob. "don't cry, how about I take you home" he offers. I nod.

He is so nice, why do I keep yelling at him, I want to get to know him. I would love to be his friend. I would love to have him walk me home every day, and tell him about myself. I want someone to hold me when I cry and comfort me when I'm upset. I want someone like him around me.

He puts my book bag on his back and carries me in his arms the hour long walk to my cave. When we get there he sets me down in the shade of the cave and holds me in his arms. "Thank you Haul" I say in a low voice. "just ask me for anything, I'll do it for you I don't mind" he says.

I look up at him and say, "I wanna get to know you better so we can be friends". "Okay" he says and leans his head on my and waits for the first question. "What's your name" I ask. "Haul Rendom" he says. "What's yours?" I never thought I'd tell anyone this, "Rye Hemlock" I say. "Rye" he repeats. I nod. "That's a beautiful name" my dad picked it for me.

"What's your favorite color" I ask. "Cream" he says. "Why" I ask. "It's the color of your eyes in the sunlight" he says and I hear the sincerity in his voice. "what's yours" he asks. "yellow" I say, "like the sun".

"what's your favorite thing to do" I ask. "I sit in my room and play guitar, it's what I do when I have free time" he says, then asks about me. "I sketch" I say. "you draw" he says surprised. I nod.

"why do you live in this cave by yourself" he asks, "don't you have a family". I shake my head, "not anymore. They were all killed. I'm the only one left" I say. "what happened" he asks. I tighten my grip on him and lean in closer as I ready myself to tell my story. Haul should count himself lucky. I would never tell this story to someone I didn't trust.

**Haul POV**

Her mother was a rebel against the capitol, and all rebels at the time were being killed so no more uprisings would take place. A man was sent out through the districts to kill all of the rebels but once he got to district nine and met her mother, he couldn't help but love her. She let him come over for dinner and gave him clothes because he looked like a poor traveler and she was a generous young lady. He fell in love with her and over time they married and had a young boy named Bannock. Then a little girl named Bethlem and soon had another girl named Rye.

The husband had decided to quit his job working for the capitol, and stay with his new family. President Snow found it highly unacceptable and told the man that if he didn't finish his assigned job then he would be executed in front of the nation. The man didn't want to be killed so while his family was asleep he poured gasoline all over the floors and walls of the house. He stood outside and flicked a match onto the porch and the house lit up quickly.

Rye had been the first to wake; she couldn't breathe because of the smoke. Her mom and siblings got up after her and her dad burst through the door. He told them to get out of the house. Bannock took his father's hand and the father picked up rye and rushed for the door. His wife and first daughter behind them. When he reached the front door the stairs collapsed and the his wife and daughter fell. The man took his children outside then ran back in. Bannock pulled her back from the burning house and soon it just collapsed.

Her brother took care of her for a year and they got a job cleaning houses for three dollars an hour. They stayed in a small shed and slept on cots. Her brother would rock her to sleep every night and stop whatever he was doing to calm her down when she cried. When he turned twelve he signed up for tesserea twice so his name was only put in the bowl three times. When the woman from the capitol called his name he she knew it wasn't right. Even though she was only about four she understood. The bowl had so many slips in it and he'd told her so many times that his name was only in there three times. It was obvious the bowl had been rigged so he'd get picked.

She had been hoisted on his shoulders and when he put her down she knew something was wrong. He told her to wait where she was and that she'd see him in a couple of minutes.

When she saw him he told her to be a good little girl and to stay with the couple they'd been working for. When she asked him where he was going he said that he'd be gone for a while.

Rye stops telling the story, "I never knew a while meant forever" she says, tears dripping off her chin and onto my shirt. "he died in fire just like the rest of my family did and I wouldn't be surprised if snow came after me next" she whispers. "He's not going to do that" I say back and hold her tighter. "I've been on my own for fourteen years" she cries. I shush her and kiss her hair.

I see her hand on my arm and say, "why is your hand always wrapped up" I ask her. She unwraps it and I see burn marks all over her wrist, her hand, her fingers. The scars are faded, but also dark as if they are recent burns. "oh my god!" I exclaim examining her hand. "I got it in the fire" I say. She pulls one side of her shirt down revealing more burns on her left shoulder. She pushes her hair back and on the right side of the back of her neck is another burn. She kicks off her right boot and pulls her pants leg up to her calf and I see another burn.

"I got hurt pretty bad" she shrugs. "you didn't see them last night because it was too dark out" she continues. "Oh rye, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry this happened to you. You had to go through hell growing up" I say. I turn her head so she looks at me, "but you don't need to worry about that anymore because I'm going to be here with you. I'm going to take care of you I promise. I'll always be here for you, whatever you need just ask for it. Okay" I say to her sternly. She nods and I hug her. She wraps her arms around me with her eyes closed. "kiss me" she whispers and my eyes fly open. She wants me to kiss her.

I take my hand and put it under her chin. I raise her head and kiss her lips softly. When I pull away she sighs and leans her head on me again.

"do you think you'll be able to go to school monday or do you not want to" I ask. She shrugs, "I dunno, should we go back today I mean it's not even noon yet" she says. "I'm not going back if you prefer to stay here, but if you do go back, I'll be with you the whole time I promise".

"I have to go to booker's tomorrow" she whispers after a moment of silents. I know booker, he's my neighbor. He pays young girls to have sex with him, every night I hear moaning. Nothing but moaning and I hate it. I hate listening to him take advantage of those girls, and I most definitely don't want him to take advantage of rye. She doesn't deserve it. I understand that she needs the money and I shouldn't be messing around with her routine but I care to much about her to let her go to him again. "Don't go to booker's" I sound desperate. "I have to" she replies. "No, I'll give you money" I say. "Where are you going to get money" she asks. "Home. My brother's a victor" I say.

"No. I'll make the money by myself" she insist and then doesn't say anything else all day.

By nightfall we have a fire going and are wrapped in her sleeping bag. "Í have to get going. I need to be home by ten" I whisper in her ear. She looks up at me. "don't leave" she pleads. "I have to" I say gently letting her go. "then can I come with you" she asks getting to her feet and holding onto my arm desperately. I consider this: my brother doesn't care who I bring over , as long as we don't go into his room and my mother is usually out of the house, who knows where she goes. "alright" I say to her

We put out the fire and start to head back to town . she stays in my arms the whole time with her hand entwined with mine. I've always wanted this, but I could've never assumed she'd be so clingy. I don't mind of course. She's been through too much, and she had no one. But now she has me and she's not trying to lose the opportunity of actually having someone again.

We go to the victors' village and get to my brothers house. We go through the door and before we head up the stairs I say, "Would you like something to eat or drink". "Just a pear" she says. I grab one from out of the bowl on the kitchen table. I wash it off and give it to her. She eats it quietly and we head up the stairs. We go to my room and I say, "You can go ahead and sleep if your tired I'll take this couch" he says. she remove her shoes and bottoms. Slide her arms into her shirt and undoes heart bra then slips hands back out and drops the bra on the floor with her other clothing. she gets into bed and closes her eyes.

I walk over and kiss her cheek. "good night" i whisper. I get ready to walk off when Rye catches my arm. "sleep with me tonight" she says pulling me into bed with her. I wrap my arms protctively around her and just as im about to fall asleep I hear a faint voice. "I love you".


	5. Chapter 5

**I personally liked that last chapter, did you? Review. Please. Anyways so rye, (hemlock) trusts haul now, and she loves him as well. You know she hasn't been able to trust anyone in fourteen years, she's been all alone, then he comes out of nowhere comforting her, and helping her out. So she likes him now. Anyway on with the story. Enjoy!**

I wake up to strong arms around me, and soft cushiony pillow under my head and a warm blanket over me. Usually I'd wake up to a cold cave floor under my old sleeping bag. I'm so stunned I almost panic. I jump up a little and haul jumps up after me. "Shh, it's alright" he says. I lean into his arms and wrap my arms around his bare back. It's just Haul, I'm fine.

I'm just so used to being alone, the thought of actually having someone with me is different. I want to be with him and never let him be taken away.

He rubs the back of my head gently, then I raise my head to kiss him. And to think I just met him three days ago. I guess he just has that effect on me. I wouldn't trust anyone for a long time then he comes and boom! Three days later I'm kissing him.

He kisses my head then hugs me again. I just remembered, its Saturday… "I have to get going" I whisper into his neck. "Where", he asks. "…..next door" I say back. He holds me tighter but I slip away. I get out of bed and don't even bother getting dressed, when I get there he'll just have me undress anyways.

Haul takes my hand, "don't go" he pleads. I don't even answer him. I begin to wrap up my leg and wrist. "Rye, I don't want you to go there" he says, "that's not your choice" I say and just leave. I don't want his money, I can do it myself!

I go down the steps and see a young man on the couch watching TV. He sees me and looks shocked, "um, who are you" he asks. He doesn't need to know! "I'm sorry that information is classified". "You don't smart mouth me in my own home little girl" he says and I walk out.

I go next door and as always the house is unlocked. I walk in and cigar smoke fills my lungs and I cough and fan it away with my hand. I hear a door upstairs close and a girl comes walking down the stairs with dollar bills in her hand. I guess it's my turn now.

I head up the curvy stairway and walk into the second door on the left. "hey there" I say in my seductive voice he likes. He sees me, takes a puff of cigar smoke then smiles. "hey, if it isn't my favorite little bitch" he says and I giggle. I walk over to the bed but don't climb in. I walk around the bed, staring into his brown eyes. His dirty blonde hair is a mess. He has a small work out station in his basement so at least he's fit and not wasted away.

"What, you gonna tease me now" he says. I shake my head and begin to slowly pull my shirt over my head. He licks his lips. I crawl into bed and lay beside him. I take the cigar from his mouth and stick it between my lips. I breathe it in then take it out and blow the smoke into his face. He playfully snatches it back then puts it out with the ash tray. "So are you gonna make me work for it or you gonna give me what I want" he asks. In response I climb onto his lap and grind up against his hardness. In my mind I tell myself to hang in there. Just be patient, it's only until 1.

**Haul POV**

I hear her moaning and it breaks my heart. I told her not to go, but she's just so independent. So ready to work herself to death then have anyone lift a finger for her. I admire that about her, but not in this case. My brother gives me money. He doesn't care. I want to give it to her, but she just wont accept it no matter how many times I beg her to take it.

She doesn't know what she's doing to herself, selling herself to whoever asks. That's so dangerous, it's depriving. Of dignity I mean. Her virginity was probably taken from that bastard next door. Probably half of the girls in this district have lost their virginity to him. And then the guys here like the fact that there are so many prostitutes so whenever they feel like it they can just go to a girl and hand her a few bills to get what they want and more.

I am not one of those guys. I refuse to take advantage of the girls' desperation for my own enjoyment, that's why I refused to do rye that night. Jett was an idiot to let her do that to him and I yelled at him about it when we got back to town. He didn't care.

I get out of bed and pull my jeans on and zip it up. I go downstairs and see my brother on the couch. "Hey" I say. "Who was that girl, she came down with just a shirt on" he says confused. "Did she say anything" I ask. He nods his head. "She's got a smart mouth" he says and goes back to watching the television. I laugh and go into the kitchen. "did she offend you" I ask. "very much" he says back and I laugh again. She's got comebacks, quick ones too.

I fry up a whole pack of bacon and pile them onto a plate. I like mine crispy, not burnt the slightest bit. I walk back into the living room and sit down. My brother looks at me. "Greedy" he says and I chuckle and eat. "where's mom" I ask a few bacons later. "Up in her room" he says. She's back home.

I suddenly can hear the moaning again and I ask for the TV to be turned up louder. I don't want to hear it at all. "Yeesh, whoever's in there must be getting it HARD" my brother says turning the TV up a little louder. I roll my eyes, that's my girl in there.

"Turn that TV down" my mom shouts from upstairs. "it's my TV mom" my brother shouts back. "and you're going to do what I say whether it's your house or not" she calls back and he turns it down. I laugh at him but then stop when I hear the moaning again. We both groan at the same time.

Rye's voices is seems so cracked when she screams like this. I start to hear the creaky mattress springs and get upset. Booker is doing way too much. There is no reason that the whole district can hear the BED SPRINGS. That's how you know it's too much. "Damn! They're hitting' that bed HARD" my brother says sitting up. "you don't have to echo my thoughts" I say covering my face with a pillow. When is it going to end!

Three hours later we're on the floor with pillows covering or ears. I wish I was deaf, or if the world had a fucking mute button. I am sick of this!

Pretty soon rye quiets down and then, thank the lord! It's silent again. I uncover my ears and get up. I go to my room and shut the door. I sit on my bed and wait for her to come back.

**Rye POV. Extremely short. I just wanted to put this in quickly so that you all know.**

I rush to the bathroom and throw up into the toilet. It smells badly but the vomit is just coming and coming. I already know what this means. It's happened so many times since I was thirteen. I'm pregnant again.

**Back to Haul POV**

Rye comes quietly into my room with a folded up stack of one dollar bills in her hand. I'd been playing my guitar as I waited. "Hi" she almost whispers. "Hey" I say putting my guitar down and walking over to her. Her hair is wet, or should I say soaked. "Why are you all wet" I ask. "I took a shower, dang!" she snaps. Whoa. "Why didn't you take a shower here" I ask, "it's not that deep will you back the hell off!" she yells. She stuffs her money into her boot. "Why are you so upset" I ask. "Just leave me alone right now" she says and goes to lay down in my bed with the blanket over her head.

I'm not mad that she yelled, just a bit surprised. I hear a sniffle come from under the sheet and I get the urge to go comfort her. I climb into bed next to her and get under the blanket. I search in the darkness for her and feel her soft skin. She opens her eyes and I can see the white surrounding those brown orbs. I grab her and pulls her into my arms. "You're not alone anymore" I whisper to her as she cries. "You have me, you don't need to take care of yourself anymore because I'll do it for you. I want to help you, I want to". She has her hands around me tight. "I will give you the money you need. We can get you a house, furniture, everything. You could even stay with me if you want to. But I don't want you to go live in a cave by yourself and sell yourself so you can get a meal. I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy, I want to hear your laugh and see your smile. I want to be able to see your shining face every day, not your tears". She's quiet, I guess that means she's listening. "are you listening" I ask. She nods.

"Haul" she whispers. "Hmm". "I'm pregnant". Pregnant! "okay, then we can go get baby things from the shop, I saw a crib the other day and…..", "you won't need to buy anything" she cuts me off. "why" I ask. "….because I'm not going to have the baby".

**Review! Haha I remembered this time. Okay, review, favorite, and follow, reduce reuse and recycle. Okay let me stop being retarded. I'm sorry it's 5 in the morning and I have to get up in three hours I'm tired. Alright next update should be tomorrow, I'm going to sleep once I get this uploaded. Good night!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sups, okay just so you all know. Rye has been going to Booker since she was thirteen, and now she's eighteen. She's gotten pregnant a lot. I mean, A LOT. Where are and what happened to all of her children I'll tell you in the story but you gots to read. This chapter takes place a month later. Alright enjoy!**

I noticed that my stomach grows a little quicker than most women's. It's been five weeks and I have the smallest form of a bump. Five weeks. It's going to happen any day now. I hate when it happens, I can never bear to know that it's going to happen to me. But when it does it takes me a few days to recover.

I hate it when I get pregnant, and I can never afford anything to prevent it from happening. And booker doesn't accept for any girl to bring condoms. I once went there and heard him yelling at a girl about that and he told her to get out. She came running down the stairs with a box of condoms in her hand.

Haul has really been helping me out. I moved into his room and left the cave. We brought up my stuff and he bought me more clothes and things I needed. I'm fed full meals and I might have a gained a few extra pounds. We've been going back to school and I'm still being bullied, but not as much. He actually hit a guy for asking him how many times a day did he, "get some". I stopped going to booker, or anyone else. I refuse any money the boys try and give to me.

I have more time to sketch now, haul helps me with my homework instead of me trying to figure it out myself all the time. My behavior has improved because I started to ignore the girls and they began to stop messing with me.

"Wake up" Haul whispers to me. He kisses my cheek and I open my eyes. He rubs my stomach. He doesn't know yet, and I don't look forward to telling him. "You've got an hour to get ready" he says and gets out of bed. I sit up and slide out of bed. I head into the bathroom and take a shower, I dry off and leave out wrapped in a towel. I go to my drawer and get out underwear. Haul's not in here so I drop the towel and put the underwear on. I clip my bra in the back and go to get my clothes from our closet. I put on a yellow tank top with a floral print skirt that reaches mid-thigh. I slip on some long yellow socks and step into my usual black boots.

I stopped with all of my dark clothes and jeans. I still wear pants of course but, skirts are pretty nice. I wear my hair down a lot now instead of only doing that to hide hickeys and bruises. I comb my waves and put chap stick on my normally dry lips.

I wrap up my hand again and throw my hoody on. I leave the room and head downstairs. Now that I don't have to eat at school I can wait until around seven forty five until heading there. I meet Haul and Holden. They're in the kitchen eating breakfast. I join them and sit next to haul.

When we finish eating we head out. I take his hand and we walk. When I wear skirts I get a couple stares from the boys but they don't dare say a thing because they know that haul will do something about it. I didn't know he could box.

When we get to town we walk past the bakery. "Should we stop in there after school" he asks. I shrug, "sure".

We get to school and start through the crowd when suddenly I feel a mild cramp. Then another and soon I'm hunched over in pain. "Rye! What's wrong" he says. People gather, God they are so newsy!

I feel another cramp and stand up and blow air into my cheeks. This can't be happening now! Not in school! Usually it would happen at the cave or in the fields, but never at school. I can't have anyone see this so I try to run for the bathroom. I feel another cramp, a strong one and I drop to my knees. I grunt and look at the floor. Blood drips onto the floor. Blood. So much blood.

"oh", Everyone is shocked, surprised. Not one person finds this funny. Haul pushes through the crowd and kneels down behind me. The blood has turned into a big puddle. It's stained my hands, my bandages, my legs and my skirt. I sit in the puddle crying. "Someone get a teacher!" Haul shouts and my homeroom teacher runs up a minute later. "Oh my god" she whispers and says, "everyone get to class this does not concern you". I hear them all leave. "Sweetie" she says kneeling next to me. I'm crying too hard to answer. My arms are wrapped around my middle. "We're gonna get you to the district hospital okay" she says rubbing my back. Another teacher comes with towels. "c'mon", haul says trying to stand me up. I throw my arms around his neck and he helps me up. The towel is wrapped around my waist to my knees to cover the blood. Haul scoops me up and carries me in his arms. I keep my face hidden in his neck.

Why does this always happen to me! Every single time, this happens. And every single time I can't help but cry my eyes out until I can't.

I tighten my arms around his neck and continue crying. I can't stop. So many children I've lost and I still mourn them sometimes when I can't stop thinking about it. Every year I lose about eight to ten babies. And even when I didn't want them, I still loved them with all my heart. And when I lost them, my heart just shattered and it took me a while to put it back together. It always does.

Haul rubs my back as he and my teacher rush me through the district and into the hospital where I'm hosed down and put in a room to rest. I keep my face hidden in the pillows. I know haul wants to talk to me about it, he told the teacher that he would stay here with me after she had asked him if was going back to school.

"Rye" he whispers. I don't move. "I'm so sorry this happened to you I had no idea" he says. "it always happens" I whisper, my voice cracked. He climbs into the bed with me and looks into my eyes, "what" he asks. I take a breath. "I started going to booker when I turned thirteen, and I got pregnant." I cry all over again, "I lost the baby five weeks later". Haul closes his eyes tight for a second. "What's wrong with me" I say into his shirt. "I can't have any babies. But I should be happy….that's one less person snow can take away".


	7. Chapter 7

**Did anyone find that chapter sad besides me? Well there ya have it. Rye can't have children. Her body can't hold them for that long so she loses them every five weeks. Any who, here's the next chapter. Enjoy. P.S the info about the uterine abnormalities I got is from the website news moms need. com. And also I don't own the lyrics from, 'don't wake me up' by Chris brown**

The doctor told me why I can't carry any children. I have uterine abnormalities. This means that my mullerian ducts didn't fuse all the way which effected the growth of the fetus. That's why I always have miscarriages.

"So I guess that's it. No children for me" I say when haul and I are alone and break out crying again. "no, no baby doesn't say that" he says hugging me. "you heard the doctor Haul. There's nothing I can do" I sob. He doesn't say anything else. "c'mon the principle is giving you a few days off to rest. Let's get you home" he says.

When we get in the house, Holden is in the living room on the couch making out with some girl. His hand in her unbuttoned jeans. She moans into his mouth. Haul shuts the door loudly and they jump. "shit! I didn't hear you two come in. why are you back half day or something" he asks sneakily sliding his hand out of her bottoms. "yeah. Half day" Haul lies. "so you gonna introduce us" he asks. "uh no" Holden says.

"hey what's wrong with you" he says to me. "nothing I'm just a little tired" I say back to him. He nods and then says, "bye". "bye" Haul says back with the same amount of attitude as his brother. He takes me upstairs. We go into his room and he locks the door. He puts me into bed and pulls the blanket up to my shoulder so I can rest.

**Haul POV**

I turn on the AC on for her then kneel beside her and say, "do you want some tea", she nods. "but can you make it warm only" she asks. I nod and kiss her head.

I head downstairs and see my brother laughing with the girl. He's laying ontop of her. Her shirt is pulled up revealing her small set of breasts. "can't you take that into your room" I complain. Holden jumps and pulls the girl's down. "shit! you pervert. Please tell me when you come down. I got my girl you have yours you don't need to see this one too" he says shooing me away with his hand. "relax. If you want to get all nude, go to your room. nobody wants to come in and see you two trying to make love" I say and go into the kitchen.

I pour water into the tea kettle and set it on the stove to boil. I bake some brownies and set the timer. By the time they're in I take the water off the stove and pour it into two mugs. I put mint tea bags into them and sugar. I stir them with spoons and pick them up. I head upstairs, my brother no longer downstairs. I go into my room and close the door with my foot.

Rye is curled up on the bed. "rye" I ask to see if she's asleep. She turns over and sits up. I sit onto the bed next to her and sit against the headboard so that she can lean on me. She takes a sip and sighs, "perfect". I drink my tea and say, "there are brownies in the oven". She nods and drinks her tea some more.

"I…want to get my chords tied" she says. Getting her chords tied will prevent her from getting pregnant, I understand why but I ask anyway. "why". "there's no point in getting pregnant if I can't have a baby. And what's the point of even trying when I know all that's going to happen is that I'll lose it." She says and sighs. "you know we don't have technology like that in this district" I whisper. "I know" she says back, "but I need to go. Do you think we could do that"? I shake my head, "traveling through the districts is forbidden remember". "then we could get your brother to get us a private ride to the capitol, he's victor, he can get in contact with them."

"you know you hate the capitol" I whisper in her ear. "I don't have much of a choice anymore, it's not like I can avoid them. It exists and it's going to be here whether I like it or not" she says . "are you sure" I ask and she nods. "alright. I'll ask my brother" I say and we drink our tea in silence.

When the oven beeps I go downstairs to it. Holden is saying goodbye to the girl he had over. He kisses her and then shuts the door when she leaves. He comes into the kitchen after me.

I take the brownies out of the oven and set them on the counter. "ooh you made brownies" he says and reaches to rip off a piece but burns his hand on the tray. He jerks it back and shouts, "dammit!" and I laugh at him, "dumb ass" I say. I get a knife and start slicing. "can you do me a huge favor" I ask. "depends" he says.

I probably shouldn't tell him this but, it's the only way to ask. "rye, wants to get her chords tied" I say. "why" he asks. "because she can't have a baby and whenever she gets pregnant she has a miscarriage. We wanted to see if you could...you know get in contact with the capitol and ask if we could head over there for the surgery". "well sure I could ask but I can't guarantee they'll say yes. The question will have to go directly to the president". "we know". He nods, "sure, I'll go ask now" he says. "thank you so much man" I say. He nods and leaves out. I put a couple slices of brownie onto a plate and bring it upstairs.

I walk into my room where rye is quietly sketching. When she sees me she closes the book and sets it down. I could see the urge to put it away faster but I know she doesn't want me to suspect anything. I sit on the bed and hold the plate out. She takes a brownie and begins to eat it. I won't bug her about the drawing, it's not important.

We eat the brownies in silence until I remember, "Holden said he was going to call the president and ask if we can come for the surgery" I say in a low voice to her. She nods, "alright" she says finally. "are you scared, or upset. Do you want to talk about this" I ask her. I can tell she can see the desperation in my eyes.

"I just….all my life I've hated the capitol, wanted to have it fall, get back at snow for taking away my family. But now it's just. I'm not so sure anymore. I mean I have you, you're my family. And if he takes you away too…" she stops and stares up at me, tears in her eyes again.

She thinks of me as part of her family. I'm the reason she doesn't want to fight anymore, because she knows she wouldn't be able to live with herself knowing her actions got me killed. Then she'd be alone again.

I hold the back of her head and lean down and kiss her. She wraps her arms around my neck tight. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her close to me. "I love you" she cries and then kisses me again. "I love you too" I say back.

There is a knock and the door opens. We turn and see Holden. "yes" he says. I look at rye and she looks up at me then back at Holden, "a hovercraft is going to be sent for you two tomorrow at noon" he says. "thank you" rye says before I can. He smiles and nods. He leaves out and closes the door. "I guess that's it" I whisper. She doesn't respond.

"I'm gonna take a nap" she says wiping away her previous tears. "alright. Would you like for me to wake you up at dinner" I ask. she shakes her head. "okay, goodnight then" I say with a small smile and kiss her cheek.

She lays her head on the pillow. I begin to slide out of bed but then stop when I see her arm rise into the air. She gets her book from the drawer next to her and holds it out to me. "I know you want to see it" she says. I take it and open it. She's never shown it to me before. The first page is just a regular leaf, the kind you see during fall. It's been shaded in. the next is a picture of her brother. He has shoulder length waves. He's smiling and has a missing molar on the bottom. His eyes are as big as hers and on the bottom it says 'Bannock Hemlock'. The next page is a young girl with long straight hair and freckles. She's missing a tooth in the front. It says, 'Bethlem Hemlock'. The next page is one of a woman and a man, their arms wrapped around each other and smiling at each other lovingly. The woman has long waves under a bandana and the man is in scruffy old clothes and wrinkles behind his eyes. At the bottom it says, 'mom and dad'.

The next is a picture of booker lying in his bed with a cigar in his mouth. He looks much younger than he does now. It says, 'booker'. The next is of a random guy and at the bottom it says '#1, 3$, the next says '#2, 5$'. It goes on and on for pages and pages. The numbers rise and so do the prices. '#47, 12$', '#58, 15$'. So many men have taken advantage of her, so many men I want to just strangle right now. I keep flipping through the pages until I come to '#208, 16$' and at the bottom it says 'jett'.

The next page is a picture of me, I look serious. My eyes are darted to the side and my hands are in my pockets. At the bottom it says, 'my love'. I smile a little then turn the page and my mouth drops open. It's a baby. A baby girl with short dark hair sitting in grass dressed in a t-shirt with a diaper on underneath. She has on a huge smile and her hair is pinned back with a clip. There is a larger body beside her with their hand on her head. At the bottom it says 'our baby'. Then in the top right corner in cursive it says, 'Basil Rendom'. She wants my baby. I would love to have that happen…but it's too bad she can't have the child she wants.

I turn the page but find nothing. I look back at rye and see she's asleep. None of the pictures have been colored in and I wonder what they would look like had they been colored instead of shaded.

I was going to head downstairs to hang out with Holden but I want to be with rye. So I get under the covers and lie next to her and pull her closer. I kiss her cheek and immediately she rolls over and puts her arms around me. Her eyes open slowly, or at least to me it seems that way. "how did you remember what your family looked like" I ask her in a hushed voice. "you never forget the faces of those you loved" she answers. "you saw…", "yes" I say without letting her finish. She smiles, "did you like it" she asks. I nod. "I loved it. She was beautiful." I say. "I just wish she were real" she says and pulls herself into my arms tighter.

"you saw those pictures of the men" she asks. "yeah" I say. "208 men in the last five years" she says shaking her head. "don't even worry about that" I say stroking her hair. "go back to sleep" I say and she's out in a minute. I close my eyes and soon I'm out too.

In the morning I hear someone on my guitar. I sit up and see rye trying to play it, but with no success. I smile and say, "I need to give you lessons". She giggles. I get out of bed and stretch. I walk over to her and sit beside her on the window sill. "I've been working on a song. You wanna hear" I ask. She hands the guitar over.

I clear my throat and begin to play. "too much light in this window. Don't wake me up", I sing and she smiles. "only coffee no sugar, inside my cup", she giggles. "if I wake and you're here still." I wink at her, "give me a kiss" I see a small blush on her cheeks. "I wasn't finished dreamin', about your lips". "don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up. don't wake me up up, up, up, up, up. don't wake me up, up, up, up, up, up. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me." I stop singing.

"that's it" she asks. "yep that's all I got so far" I say and smile at her. She wraps her arms around me and leans against the window. I kiss her and then smile, "we should get ready" I recommend. She shakes her head and pulls me in for more kisses. She uses my neck to pull me closer and I hold onto her hips. Pretty soon I find myself trailing kisses on her jaw then her neck. I suddenly find myself wishing she wasn't so hurt about yesterday so I could actually do more than just kiss her.

**Rye POV**

He is the only one who could actually bring me out of my depression. Love overpowers hate and sadness. And his love overpowers any bad and sad feeling I have from thinking of my past and my lost children. He lets me know that just because I started out bad doesn't mean I can't improve my future. I want to improve my future. His care and love is what keeps me stable. Snow has taken my family but now he's my family and I will rebuild it with him. We will have our future together and there's no way snow can take him away. He won't do anything unless I do something first. And I don't intend on making that sacrifice.

His lips kiss me all over my face as I laugh softly. "brownies" he says and laughs. He kisses my lips again and I push his head closer to mine. I am in love with this boy, I am so glad I let him sit next to me at lunch that day.

His lips run over my throat and I put my head back and he kisses from one collarbone to the other. I begin to crave more. His arms wrap all the way around my back and he pulls me in as close as he can. My arms lock around his neck and his tongue finds mine. They swirl around each other and I moan. He smiles. I take his hand and place it on my breast.

He pauses and looks up at me "do it" I beg in a whisper. I want more than his kisses. I want to feel him touching my body. He lifts my cream colored shirt up along with my bra. He smiles, "what size" he asks. "d" I reply and he blushes. He starts by massaging under my breast then working his way up. He takes a nipple into his mouth and I smile. I know we can't go far today, but I want to do as much as we can.

It's a nice sunny day and the curtains are open. "We should probably move" I whisper. He stops what he's doing. "Maybe we should stop" he says pulling my shirt down. I look into his eyes and see the concern he has for me. He doesn't want to do this because of yesterday. He's afraid I'm still hurting. "Okay" I say. "Maybe some other time" he says and takes my hand to help me up. "We need to start getting ready" he smiles and then says. "Wanna wash up with me". I wrap my arms around him smiling. I nod.

He smiles back and leads me into his bathroom. He shuts and locks the door. Her presses my back to the wall and kisses my neck. He pulls off my t-shirt, then holds me by my waist. His hands make tingles shoot up my spine, and for the first time ever I want to have sex for love. Not for money.

I reach for his jeans which are slightly below his boxers and begin to undo his belt. He stops kissing me and just watches me, I guess to see my reaction, I don't know. I unzip his jeans and slowly pull down what's revealed of his boxers. I keep pulling until suddenly it pops up, probably eight inches long and I gasp.

Haul chuckles, "I knew you were going to do that". I have NEVER seen one this big. I brush it with my finger then wrap my whole hand around it. I graze it with my hand slowly and see his body shiver a little. His hands reach to unclip my bra. He slides it off of me and presses his body against mine.

I reach for my underwear and pull it down and step out of them. I push his bottoms down and they fall to his ankles. He steps out and walks me to the shower. We step inside and he closes the glass door. He turns on the warm water and then cups my breasts and starts off where he'd stopped a few minutes ago.

He kisses me from my breasts then down to my stomach then lower. He takes my legs and wraps them around his neck then stands up with me almost touching the ceiling. It feels good. It's so good that I almost jerk forward, but I know if I do we'll fall. "oh! Put me down. I'm gonna fall" I say tightening my legs as the sensation gets better. He puts me down, water dripping off of his eyelashes. I run my fingers through his hair and he keeps his hands on my butt. I pick up a bar of soap and rub it down his arm.

We soap each other up then wash off. We both wish we could do it for real but we can't. Not today.

We dry off silently and wear formal clothes since we'll be in the presents of the president. I put on some tight black tuxedo zip pants and a purple racer back tank top. I rewrap my hands and put on my leather jacket. I brush my hair and clip it back a little with a purple flower shaped pin.

Haul puts on his regular jeans and a tuxedo top. He takes his time combing his hair, he's beginning to grow facial hair. I step into black platform shoes. "The hovercraft is here" Holden calls from downstairs a while later. I take Haul's hand and we walk out of the house where a large hovercraft waits in the front yard, hovering feet above the ground.

Peacekeepers summon us and we all stand on a circular platform with railings. One peacekeeper pulls a lever and the platform rises into the hovercraft. Haul sits in a seat and I sit onto his lap. "Only one person per seat ma'am" I'm told and I sit beside him and put my hand in his. We're told to strap in and soon we're on our way.

My stomach is in knots. Im on my way to the place I always dreamed of destroying. Of watching those who live there burn to death just like my family did. I never thought I'd actually meet president snow in person and now that I am…I'm feeling kind of hesitant.

After a few hours we land in the capitol. I have to admit it's beautiful, very colorful and cheery. But it's still the worst place ever. We are taken to a car and driven through the streets. Everyone is wearing bright, shiny, sharp, weird clothes and they're hair and eye colors are artificially made. I can tell.

I feel someone nudge my shoulder. I turn my head and see haul looking at me. He leans in and whispers, "are you doing okay". I mouth, 'yes' to him while nodding and lean on his shoulder. The car is air conditioned and when he notices me shiver he puts an arm around me and rubs my arm up and down.

The car comes to a stop and the driver says, "President Snow's mansion". I swear I felt my heart stop. I swallow the lump in my throat and haul and I step out of the car when the door is opened for us. I look up at the building and gasp at it. We're led up stairs and into the doors. We walk through a large room with a red carpet, vases filled with roses and a large chandelier on the ceiling. There are avoxes on almost every corner.

We're led up another light two flights of stairs and then enter a narrow hallway. The peacekeeper we're with stops at a large door and knocks. "Come in" a voice roars. The doors are opened and I set my eyes on the and only, President of Panem. Coriolanus Snow.


	8. Chapter 8

"Welcome. Welcome" snow says as haul and I make our way into his room. "please take a seat" he says. Haul and I take our seats in the two chairs in front of his desk. I keep my hand glued to his. "rye hemlock. It's been quite awhile". "We've never met" I say keeping the sarcasm out of my voice. "Well it was a long time and you were just a baby. Two years old to be exact" he says. "And you have grown to be such a…." he thinks for a moment. "Beautiful young lady" he continues. "Thank you" I say.

"And who might this young man be" he asks looking at haul. "Haul Rendom…sir", "Rendom. I knew a man named Rendom. Rhys Rendom is that name familiar to you" he asks. Haul nods. "He was my father" he says. "I never knew he had a child". "He has two" Haul says matter of factly. "Holden Rendom, my older brother. He's a victor, of the 54th games". "Oh yes, I remember now" snow nods.

"Now, down to business. I have been informed that you recently lost a baby" he says. I nod at the thought of my baby, "yesterday". "hm, and you wanted to get your chords tied. Please explain why that is". Explaining would mean I'd have to tell about my other miscarriages. Haul looks at me and I begin, "when I was thirteen I went to victor Booker Hades. I heard that he gave-generous amounts of money to young girls, but what I didn't know was what I needed to do to get… the money. Umm, he gave me a couple of dollars for my first time and afterwards, I found out a few days later that I was pregnant. I was…so scared. Then five weeks later I lost the baby" I say.

President Snow looks interested in my story, "go on" he says. "By the time I was fourteen I was a prostitute. I slept with so many guys…" I have to stop to blink away the tears that are threatening to spill out. "…I would accept money from anyone who asked… Every year I lose about ten babies. My recent miscarriage happened in school so I was taken to the hospital. The doctor said I had a uterine abnormality...that's why I can't have any children".

Snow nods, "can you explain what uterine abnormalities are" he asks. "My mullerian ducks are supposed to fuse together, but when they don't fuse all the way or don't fuse at all then it effects the growth of the fetus and can cause miscarriages and early births and so on" I say. He nods in understanding.

I cover my mouth to stop any sobs. Haul says, "Come here". I get out of my chair and sit in his lap. "Mister Rendom I'd like to ask you to leave. I want to speak to rye in private". I look up at haul and he says, "Okay". I get up so he can stand. He kisses me quickly and says, "I'll be in the hallway". I nod, "okay". I know he's scared, I am too. I have no idea what he wants to say to me. Haul kisses my forehead then begins to walk out. He looks back at me and leaves out. The doors shut behind him.

I sit down and wipe my eyes. I look up at snow and he says, "Miss Hemlock, do you know what happened to your family" he asks. I stare at him for a second. We really are about to have this conversation. He waits patiently for a response. "Yes. They're all dead". "do you know what caused their deaths". I nod, "they were burned to death", my throat feels tight, I don't want to talk about this, ESPECIALLY not with him. "Do you know why" he asks. "My mother was a rebel and they aren't allowed in the country". "Very good".

He gets up from his seat and walks around his desk and stand in front of me. He leans back on his desk, a few black hairs still in his head. "Your father worked for me and I wanted the rebels gone. He was the greatest assassin I had. Then he met your mother and it took eleven years to convince him to complete his job." "You threatened to kill him" I say, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I did, but only if he didn't finish the job". "He was about to but then died after he changed his mind about obeying you" I cry. "I know that" he says. "I had someone go down to your district to check out what was going on with your family and I was told you and your brother had survived. So when I saw his name signed up for tesserea I had the boys bowl rigged so his name would be entered more times. Then I had him die in a fire just like the rest of his family. It was supposed to be to scar you for life so you wouldn't take after your parents!" he begins to raise his voice.

"I wasn't going to take after them, not every child is like that. And you scarring a child like that will only make sure that they do. They'll want to avenge their parents by doing what they did. I was a little girl, what would I have done" I ask. "You would have grown up like your parents had I let them live. But don't blame me it was your father. If he'd done his job the way he was supposed to then you wouldn't even be here now! He'd be in the capitol enjoying the rest of his life in luxury just like every other citizen here!". "What my father did was the right thing to do. He stayed loyal to his family instead of you… I wasn't even going to make a problem because I want to just drop it. I don't want this to go on; I just want to live my life like anybody else. Why won't you let me do that" I ask my voice getting high. "Because I can't risk you changing your mind the way he did!" "Well if you wanted me dead so badly then why am I still here" I ask. He leans in close, "because I trust you would be a good girl and not start any trouble". "I won't" I promise and sniffle.

He takes a moment to think, "We'll finish this discussion over dinner at seven. Until then you'll be taken upstairs to a guest room. There are clothes there for the both of you, where something fancy" he says and shoos me away with his hand. I quickly leave.

I enter the hallway and close the door. Once it's shut I break out crying. Haul rushes over to me and pulls me into his arms. "Shh, it's going to be okay. I'm here" he whispers. A peacekeeper orders us to follow him and we go upstairs. He takes us into a spare quest room. He shuts the door and we're left alone. But we don't dare talk about what just happened. This room is most likely stashed with cameras and we don't need snow in on even more of our business.

**Haul POV**

It takes her an hour to calm her down and even after that she stays in my arms. She's rubbing on me. I know what she wants but there are cameras, snow doesn't need a live look into our sex life. She burries her face into my neck and rubs my shoulder. "no, rye" I whisper. "please" she begs and I feel her kiss my neck. "not now". "I want to feel better, this'll help" she adds. I cant say no to that. She turns her head a little so she's leaning on my shoulder. "please" she repeats.

In response I press my lips to hers and pull her jacket off of her and put my hands into her shirt and rub her back. She takes my tux jacket off of me then begins to unbutton my shirt. She puts them onto the floor and pushes me back. I pull her shirt off then unclip her lace bra.

We don't remove any other clothing but we enjoy each other's chests and neck. Afterwards we lay ontop of the covers wrapped in each other's arms tightly. We're still shirtless. "We've got about half an hour until snow wants to meet us for dinner" she whispers. I nod. "why didn't you tell me about your dad" she asks.

She's right, she told me about her family why cant I tell her about my dad. It's because I feel embarrassed to talk about him that's why. "my dad isn't, someone I like to talk about" I whisper. She nods and then doesn't ask me again.

We fall asleep in each other's arms like we do every night. Except this time is filled with memories of my father.

"_Boys come down here we have to go" dad calls from downstairs. I go down the creaky staircase and stand infront of him. "where's holden" he asks. "he's in bed, his arm is broken….remember" I tell him. "Ah whatever, let's go" he says and we leave out of the house. We head down to the black market and go to the stand that sells the beer and liquor only the victors can afford._

_The woman at the counter knows my dad and she lets us in. he smacks her butt and says thank you. I hate it when he does that. there is a door and we walk inside revealing a secret bar. There are drunk men in here, men trying to get drunk and about an armful of prostitutes._

_My dad slaps my shoulder and says, "go get one of those girls" then hands me a few dollars. He's wasting the money he makes working on prostitutes. But I obey him anyways._

_I walk over to a girl who looks to be around my age. She has light brown curls and green eyes. I stand next to her and hold out the money. "You seem a little young to be here" she says taking the money. I shrug, "does anyone in this district care". We walk up a flight of stairs and into a room that isn't already occupied._

_The girl locks the door and kneels down. She unbuttons my pants and yanks them down. Her eyes grow wide when she sees it, "oh wow!" I always get this reaction. She pulls off my shirt and says, "oh you work out huh". I nod. "how old are you" she asks amazed. "fourteen" I answer. She starts to rub her lace glove covered hands down my body. "there was a guy who kind of looks like you, with a dick a bit bigger than yours" she says. "you must be talking about my brother" I say as she begins to push me towards the bed. "oh yea, how old is he" she asks. "eighteen" I say. She lowers herself down and puts me into her._

_She starts to bounce up and down, her little a cup breasts barely moving. My dad does this kind of thing to my brother and I all the time, sends us here with a few dollars so we can spend a couple hours with the prostitutes. This isn't the first time I've done this. And lord knows when will be my last._

**Rye POV**

I wake up when I feel Haul shift a bit. I rub my eyes and see his face grimace and he exhales deeply. I feel his hardness through his jeans on my leg and I begin to wonder what he's dreaming of. "Ow!" he shouts. I jump. "Ow! I'm sorry!"

I start to shake haul, "get up!" I say. "Dad! I'm sorry!" he screams. "Haul get up!" I shout. He jumps up and breathes heavily.

"Haul" I ask and look at him. "Are you okay". He nods quickly, his eyes red, and wide. I wrap my arms around him and lay him back down. "You should cover" he recommends and I look down to see I'm still shirtless. I reach for my bra and put it back on. I lie beside him and rub his chest gently. "Do you want to talk about it" I whisper. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare" he says still trying to catch his breath. "Are you sure". He nods. "Okay" I say and lie my head down on him.

About five minutes later there is a knock on the door. It opens without either of us saying. A peacekeeper walks in. I quickly pull the blanket up to cover my bra. I see him look but then raise his gaze to say, "The president is expecting you two downstairs in the dining hall in half an hour. He doesn't tolerate tardiness" he says, looks at me again and then exits.

We get out of bed. And begin to prepare. I take a quick shower and put on black lace underwear and panty hose. I step into my black shoes and sit in front of a mirror curling my hair. I get started on my make up. Black eyeliner, eye shadow that matches my skin tone, pink blush and red lipstick. I press my lips onto some tissue then throw it away. I walk out of the bathroom and see haul combing his hair again. He looks at me and walks over. He holds me by my waist, "why don't you ever dress like this for me" he asks seductively smiling. "im still in my underwear". "exactly" he says and kisses my neck. "lace and pantyhose. What are you trying to do to me" he says pressing his forehead to mine. The heels make me as tall as he is. "well what about you, you look good" I say patting his suit down.

"Alright let me finish getting dressed" I say slipping away from him and walking away looking back at him seductively. I twirl around and lean against the wall making sure to stare into his eyes the entire time. I walk over the him and pull him over by his neck tie. He smiles and I break out laughing. "You're good at that" he says. "what, walking." I say. "Seducing" he corrects. "oh well then I guess I know how to get what I want from now on" I say wrapping my arms around him. He smiles and I say, "okay I really need to get dressed now" I say.

I go to the closet and look through the dresses that surprisingly aren't as wacky as the clothing they wear here. I choose a burgundy dress with black straps and a black belt. I put it on gently. I look into the mirror and it looks beautiful on me. "what are you going to do about your scars" he whispers into my ear.

I put on a pair of long lace gloves that cover my fingers. Push some of my hair over my shoulder, put on a necklace to match and we head out.

An Avox leads us to the dining hall. The room is large and has a long rectangular table with a white table cloth and four plates with utensils set beside them, napkins underneath and another chandelier hanging from the ceiling.

The room is a tan-gold color with white tile. The president and a man with jet black curls are having a conversation. We take our seats and are greeted. "I'm sure you too remember your little guild from earlier, head peacekeeper, Launder.

He reaches over the table to shake hands with Haul then shakes my hand. "He'll be joining us this evening" snow says. A door opens and Avoxes walk into the room with carts of food come into the room. "I have to say you two clean up very nicely" launder says looking from haul to me, then lower. I look at him for a second, then look away. The table is set with fish, turkey, chicken, beef stew and pork, sides like, rice, beans, and baked potatoes. There are vegetables and fruits and bottles of wine.

The president orders for a bottle to be opened. "Would anyone like some" he offers. "Oh no thank you.", "I don't drink", haul and I say at the same time. "I would" Launder says. "Do you have any cider" haul asks. The president looks through the pail of bottles and pulls out apple cider. "Indeed there are" he says and avoxes pour it for us.

We load our own plates. I put rice on my plate with chopped turkey and gravy. Haul fills a bowl with beef stew that has chopped potatoes and carrots. We all begin to eat.

"now, about the surgery. I need to ask some questions" snow says and I say, "okay". "do you want to have children" he asks. "yes". "so why don't you", "because I cant, the surgery will just stop me from getting pregnant all together". Launder cuts in, "but instead of having a surgery to prevent you from pregnancy, why don't you get a surgery that will enable pregnancy AND childbirth". I hadn't thought of that. I look at haul, he's just as surprised as I am.

"would you do that" he says. "would you allow that sir" I say to snow. I know he probably doesn't want me to, afraid that he or she will 'take after me'. "I would. IF, you don't take after your parents. Can you do that." "yes sir" I say I nodding. He nods, "yes, I allow it." He says to me. He looks at Haul, "and I'll make sure that you don't get chosen for the reaping which is in about.." he looks back at me, "less than a month, though you both still have to attend." "Thank you sir" we both say.

Snow takes a bite of his food then swallows and says, "Just make sure that when you do have the baby, you let me know". He's trying to act nice, I can hear it in his voice. I can tell he has some sort of scheme up his sleeve.

"Now, I'll have the surgery will take place at nine so eat up" he says and we eat quietly.

When I finish I drink the rest of my cider and excuse myself from the table. Snow accepts and I walk out rubbing Haul's shoulder as I pass. I go to the woman's restroom and stare into the mirror at myself.

Snow accepts for me to have a baby. He probably wants to do something to it when I get older, but if he does then he knows that haul and I would do something about it. I don't know.

The door opens and I turn around and see Launder walk in. he doesn't even stop to think he's in the girls bathroom. As a matter of fact he knows. He takes me by the waist and presses his lips to mine. He slams me into the wall. When he lets go I say, "what the hell!" he tries to shush me, "get off me!". "you should be thanking me that I gave you the option of having a baby, not yelling at me." He says in a low voice. "what do you want" I ask. "I want what any many wants from a pretty girl" he says rubbing his hand up my thighs so my dress goes up, "I have hundreds of dollars for you if you do", "no!" I scream and knee him between his legs. He shouts and falls to the floor. I kick him over and over, "you stupid, mother fucking pervert!" I scream, then all of my anger washes away and I start crying.

How dare he try to take advantage of me like that! "I don't need the money! I don't need…" I begin to sob.

The door bursts open and Haul runs in with president snow walking in after him. "what happened!" he asks. I run into his arms and hide my face. "he tried to buy me!" I cry. "he tried to buy me" I say a little lower. "what!" haul yells, "is this true" snow asks. "yes!" I cry. "no sir" he says and has to stop to breath very few seconds. "I told her I was attracted… to her…and she said that if… I gave her a hundred dollars she would.. have sex with me. But I said no…and she beat me up". "you lier!" I scream and it takes all of hauls strength to hold me back, "you're a lier! He's lying!" I scream and cry. "take her out" snow orders.

Haul begins to drag me out, "he's lying!" I scream. Haul lets the door close then holds me close to him. We sit on the floor and I cry my eyes out. "it's okay, he's not going to hurt you" he says. "he wanted to buy me" i say for the thousandth time. "I know baby, I know, he not going to do that I promise" he says.

The door opens and launder limps out. "I'm so sorry for what I tried to do to you, and for lying" he says. I stare up at him. Snow walks out and says, "Do you accept his apology", what am I five! Hell no! "no!" I say and look away. "Launder go home" snow orders and launder limps away.

"You bruised his ribs, you should apologize to him" snow says. I don't answer. "Alright, go ahead out front there is a car out there waiting for you" he says and walks off. Haul thanks him and helps me up. We walk out of the mansion and down the stairs. There is a black car parked at the bottom. We get in and it drives us to the hospital.

It's huge, red and white. There are so many stories and hundreds of windows. We go inside and haul talks to the man in the front desk. "Oh yes, rye hemlock. President Snow called and told us you were booked for a mullerian duct fuse. Is that correct". I nod my head. "Alright right this way" he leads us into an elevator. We ride up to the sixth floor and go into room 105. The doctor in the room greets us. "How are you feeling" she says nicely. "Fine" I say wiping off the last of my mascara that dripped down my cheek.

She gives me a hospital gown and tells me to remove all of my clothes and to put it on. She points to a bathroom. I go inside and change. I come out with my clothes balled up in my arms. I set it in a chair and climb into the bed. Nurses and doctors come in and haul is told to war a blue mask to cover his mouth.

They're all talking too fast for me to understand. One doctor says, "put your feet on these bars". I do as im told and notice I'm completely exposed, now, especially to the male doctors but they don't show a hint of attraction. Haul slips his hand into mine and kisses my head. "you ready" he asks. I nod. A nurse comes over and says, "this drug will numb you so you can feel anything, and it will put you to sleep" she says. "okay" I nod. She puts the needle into my arm and immediately I black out.


	9. Chapter 9

**I know your all thinking, president snow, isn't all nice like that. don't worry, I know. Anyway, after chapter 10, I'll make a sequel to this story so that it doesn't get off topic. Anyways enjoy!**

I wake up to see my surroundings are blurry. But it doesn't look like the hospital, it looks like….home. I sit up and wipe my eyes. "Haul" I call quietly. I get out of bed, dressed in nothing but underwear and a large t-shirt. I walk for the door and reach for the doorknob when I see my scar is gone. "What?" I ask myself. I run to the mirror and look at my calf, gone, my shoulder, gone, my neck, gone. Yes! They're gone, yes, yes, yes. I don't have to cover them anymore.

I just remember what I was doing. I leave the room and head downstairs. Holden is watching TV as always. "hi" I say. "hey" he says. "where's haul" I ask. "school, he left an hour ago". "I should go back" I say to myself. "uh, maybe you shouldn't" he says. "why not". "because, it's only been two days, everyone will be talking about you". "They talk about me all the time anyways" I say and go upstairs to wash and dress. I put on some skinny leg jeans and boots with shoelaces. I pull on a gray t-shirt and carelessly comb my hair with my fingers then put a beanie on my head. I grab my book bag and head downstairs to the kitchen. I grab a water bottle and run out, "bye" I say to Holden and close the door.

I pull my bag onto my back and jog to school. I always wore a hoody to cover my scars, but now I don't have them so I don't need to. I get to school in five minutes and go into the school yard. I walk into the school. Should I really do this, Holden is right; they might start talking when they see me. 'Hemlock had a miscarriage, hemlock got pregnant, hemlock is a slut, hemlock the hooker' they might say. But I go in anyway. The first person I see is the principle walking through the hallway. He sees me and walks over quickly. "Hemlock. Are you okay" he asks. I nod, "I'm fine", "are you sure, you can stay home if you want to". "No it's okay" I say. "Really". I nod. "Alright, but if you don't feel well you can head home any time you want to". "Thanks" I say and walk off. "It's first period so I have geography. Which means that Haul will be in my class.

I head down the hall to class. I slowly open the door and the teacher stops talking. She looks at me then bends over a bit to reach my height, "I heard what happened are you okay" she whispers. I nod and look away to search for haul. He's in the middle of the classroom as always. He smiles at me and waves. I wave back slightly. "go ahead and take your seat" she says. As I walk to the back of the class, some students say hi and welcome me back. I didn't know they would act like this. I thought that when I walked into the room there would be whispering and giggles.

At the end of class everyone packs up their books and head out of the door. Haul and I go out into the hallway and he hugs me. "Glad to see your okay, you were out for a whole day" he says. "Do you think the surgery worked" I ask. "We'll just have to find out ourselves" he whispers holding my arms. I kiss him slightly. "what class do you have now" I ask. "math" he says. "alright, I'll see you at lunch" I tell him. He nods.

We head off in separate directions. It's funny how most of the girls settle with prostitution, but make fun of me for getting pregnant. It doesn't make sense to me. But unlike most girls I actually want to have a baby. I don't care about my age. Had I not had any miscarriages I wouldn't want a baby, but the fact that I have, and now that I probably can, it's the only thing I want right now.

At lunch I get in line for pizza and sit next to Haul at the table. Everyone is chatting about the last day of school tomorrow and all of us seniors are so excited to just leave this place and get on with our lives. I know I am. And I know that if Haul and I do end up having a baby then we'll have to move out because I already know Holden doesn't want a child screaming at night. We'll have to get our own place, get married and live together happily.

Marriage. I would want to marry him, I would love to marry him. But I'm not rushing anyone into anything. We've done enough of what I wanted, these next decisions belong to him. I eat my food while leaning on his shoulder as he talks to some of his friends.

"Im sorry to hear about you guys' baby" one boy says. Haul told those who asked that the baby was his to stop people from assuming and making up rumors, although the baby was obviously Jetts'. I hadn't gone to booker's that week and he was the only one I'd been with. Then I went to bookers and found out about the baby. It has to be his. I'm sure of it.

"thanks, we're okay though" haul says back. "you two gonna try again". "you don't need to know" I blush. "yeah you are". Our moods darken when one boys says, "so the games are in two weeks. I wonder whose going to get picked. It could be anyone in here" he says looking around. Snow said we wouldn't get picked, so I shouldn't really worry. Right?

"can we change the subject please" haul cuts in. we change the subject quickly and begin to talk about what we're planning to do this summer.

**Haul POV**

We walk home together. "I wanted to ask you, about your dad" rye says out of nowhere. I guess I might as well tell her, there's no sense I keeping it a secret. "My dad used to take Holden and I to the bar. He would get drunk and send us off to the prostitutes. He said something about having the experience. He was only going to do it once but then he got addicted to drugs and smoking and drinking. He would get drunk and have my brother and I drink the most intoxicating drinks they had" I say in disgust.

"the prostitutes liked my brother and I because of our size and if we got them pregnant he would beat us. He always would say that he doesn't need any more kids in the house, doesn't need anymore crying, and whining and diapers.", "so your already a father" rye says looking up at me. I shrug, "I honestly don't know. I doubt it though. No girl in this district wants kids" I say. "I do" she says and wraps her arms around me as we walk.

"what happened to your dad" she asks. "he died, too many drugs" I say. "he was an embarrassment, I hated talking about him. Holden does too.". "I wont ask again" she says. "thank you" I say and kiss her head.

When we get back in the house Holden greets us, "you didn't have any problems at school did you" he asks. "do I need to kick any asses". She laughs and shakes her head. "No, thanks though" she says and we head upstairs.

We finally get to do what we'd both been waiting for and I want to cherish the moment. Tonight. I want to be able to show my love for her tonight. In fact, "what do you want for dinner" I ask her wrapping my arms around her. She giggles as we sway back and forth. "Can I make it' she asks. "You really want to" I ask and she nods. "okay" I say. She whirls around and kisses me. She hurries downstairs and I go after her when I hear the doorbell.

I answer and see my friends from lunch and jett. "Oh, hey guys what're you doing here" I ask. "We wanna go hang out, we haven't gotten to just be boys in a while" they say. "No I can't go today." I say. "Why not" jett asks. "I want to hang out with Hemlock". She doesn't want the kids at school to know her first name. "Come on man" they say. "No" I reply, "go ahead" rye says walking up to the door. "Really" I ask. She nods, "but come back at around eight for dinner" she says and pushes me out the door. I lean in to kiss her then say, "I'll see you in a few hours then" I say and she nods. My friends and I leave the victors village.

We walk around the district for hours talking about school, and girls, and sex. We talk about our favorite bra size, of course mine is d, and Jett's is b. we head to the black market and buy cigarettes. I don't usually smoke but what the hell, there's no law that says I can't. We make fun of the boys in school who think they're all tough, when really we're the tough ones.

We aren't as buff as them, but we're pretty handsome. I go through about three cigarettes then stop. The others keep going. "Look what I brought" one of my friends says pulling a bottle of wine from out of his jacket. "Where'd you get that" I ask. "Stole it" he says. "You could get in serious trouble" I say. He sucks his teeth at me, "quit being such an ass and loosen up. We have to celebrate, schools over!" he says getting louder and the boys all shout.

The bottle is opened and they all take turns gulping it down. "Here Haul take some" jett says handing me the bottle. "No, that's okay I don't drink" I say. "Aw come on man" he pressures. "No, I'm not doing it!" I yell and say, "It's getting late, I'm out of here". I go back to the black market and purchase a small case of mints and devour them so I don't reek of smoke.

When I get to the victors village its dark and the only light I see are a few lights on the porch. As I near the house I see the lights are candles. I smile and go up the stairs. On the door there is a note taped to the door. I cant see it and surprisingly there is a flashlight at my feet. I pick it up and turn it on. The note says, 'remove shoes and go inside'. I take off my shoes and open the door. The lights are all off and there is a path of candles. I follow the candles until I see a candle on a small ledge on the wall and a note taped above it.

I shine my flash light on it. 'Remove shirt and under shirt'. I smile again and pull my shirts off at once then throw them somewhere into the darkness. I follow the candles as they lead up the stairs. Where did she get all of these candles. When I reach the top step there is a candle and a note on the banister ledge. 'remove pants'. I chuckle and pull my jeans off and leave them where they are. I follow the candles down the hall and to my door. There is another note, 'remove socks, and go inside'. I take my socks off, drop them, then open the door.

The first thing I notice is that the lights have been dimmed. I open the door wider and see the candles scattered all over, and the…cherry blossom…petals sprinkled all over the floor and bed. I close the door and walk in. I look around and feel arms wrap around me. I smile and turn to see rye in her lace underwear with pantyhose and black heels. Her hair has been put in large curls and she has on red lipstick. My favorite outfit.

I pull her over to me by her waist, "you really know how to turn me on" I whisper and kiss her. She smiles, "that was the plan". "you didn't make dinner did you" I ask jokingly. She shakes her head, "I thought we could move on to dessert" she says and rubs her hand down my chest.

We move to the bed and she has me sit down. She seductively dances and strips off her few pieces of clothing. She is making me so hard, I don't think she'd mind watching me orgasm. She shakes her head as if she read my thoughts. "not yet" she whispers. She walks over to me and sits on my lap, her legs spread wide apart. She whispers into my ear, "I want to say thank you for everything you've done for me, for caring for me and loving me. For protecting me. I want to return the favor" her whispers tickle.

She kisses my cheek then my stubble covered jaw then my neck. She kisses me all over, rubs me all over but not once does she reach for my underwear. She's teasing me, and I feel like I'm going to cry if I don't get to touch her soon. She rubs her body against mine.

Pretty soon after about twenty minutes she pulls my boxers down and puts them on the floor. She pushes me back so I lay down. She sits next to my head then opens her legs and sits on my face. Finally!

I lick her and swirl my tongue around and inside of her. She moans as she sucks my cock like a pro. I open her up and stick my fingers into her. I finger her as best I can to make her moan. I love that sound.

She sits up and sways her hips, smashing back into my face and I lick her some more. She gets up and we move she can lay on the pillow. She spreads her legs for me and I place myself there. Here we go. Our first time… and with that I push my hips forward and I slide right in. I lay ontop of her as we fuck. Her legs wrap around me and I kiss her neck and play with her breasts as she moans into my ear.

She tugs at my hair and says, "Yes! Push harder. As hard as you can". I push harder and I feel myself hitting the back. "Just like that! Oh!"

For the first time, we get to have sex with a person we actually want to have it with, and we're both enjoying it. This is the best feeling ever.

She lifts her body a little and I push harder to make sure I satisfy her. She gets a bit louder, but then gets lower. I feel that I'm so close. We both want a baby so I don't hold back and when it comes I don't stop. I keep going and it gets a little more wet around me. "yes, come again! Fill me with it!" she moans.

Her legs lift up and wrap around my shoulders. I hold them down and push harder. It feels so good, thousands of times better than when we were in the shower. I love this. Right now, my goal to get her pregnant vanishes and a new goal is set. My goal is to last all night. I don't want this to end, and it doesn't until daylight.

**Rye POV**

I wake up in the morning to find Haul gone. I sit up and wipe my eyes. My curls are back to their natural wavy form. I feel sticky, but satisfied. I smile at the thought of last night. That was, the greatest night of my life, and I will treasure it forever.

Wait, today is the last day of school! I look at the clock and see it says 6 o clock. I relax. I have plenty of time. I get out of bed and step on something soft. I look down and see cherry blossom petals underneath my feet. A trail of the lead to the bathroom. I smile and follow the trail. It leads to a heart of petals with a note in the middle. I pick up the note and see a ring under it. I gasp and look at the note, 'will you marry me'.


	10. Chapter 10

I run downstairs in my lace underwear and pantyhose since it's the closest pieces of clothing I have. I jump down the last five steps and almost slip on the tile. I run to the kitchen and find haul at the sink. I throw my arms around him, "yes!" I say and we spin around. "Yes I will marry you" I say, tears running down my face.

I hear Haul chuckle and he hugs me tighter. "Great" he says in my ear. I kiss him passionately and he holds me by the waist. I don't have on my heels so I'm on my tippy toes. Holden walks into the room wiping his eyes and stops when he sees my outfit, but I don't care. It's not for him.

Haul opens his eyes and smiles, "well go ahead and put the ring on, and get dressed I'm making a special breakfast." He says and kisses me again. I let go of him, "morning Holden" I say and walk off.

**Holden POV**

I stare wide eyed as she walks past me and out of the room. Wow that girl…Sheesh; I might have to restrain myself. "What- how'd you get that" I say pointing to the door she went out of. He looks at the door then back at me, "what?" "How'd you get a girl like that?" "What do you mean like that" he asks me. "With a body like that! I didn't know she was that sexy"? "Uh, you can't say that" he says turning to me. "Sorry but it's the truth I mean she doesn't have any fat, she's got big boobs and...", "you can't say that" he says a bit upset. "okay, okay im sorry" I say and sit on the table.

Why can't every girl in the district look like that? Haul gets her and the rest of us get the flat chested ones.

Haul begins to fry up some bacon and make omelets. He chops up some tomatoes and onions, thaws out some shrimp and throws it all in the pan.

I begin to think about next weekend. The games. The tributes. And I have to mentor this year. I sometimes have nightmares about the arena, a volcanic wasteland. One wrong step and you would be killed by a blast of hot steam, or the ground would crack open and you'd fall into the lava. The games were quick that year, only lasted about two days. There was no food, or water. The only way to survive was to win. Everyone was just fighting, fighting 48 hours straight.

I managed to win because I was light on my feet and when the ground cracked I would quickly run away and if someone ran for me I would be able to dodge them. Not any more though, I don't really like to get out much. But I do have a few weights in my room.

"so, you worried about next weekend" I ask. My brother shakes his head, "no". "I am, I feel bad for whoever is going to get picked" I say and run my fingers through my hair. I lie down on the table and sigh. Haul comes over, "have a bacon" he says and puts one into my mouth. I munch on it thankfully.

"so where were you last night" he asks. "rye kicked me out so you two could have the house to yourselves". He laughs, "she kicked you out of your own home". Now that I think about it she did, "hey ya!" he keeps laughing, "you're so stupid!" I get off the table and pop him in the back of his head and run out of the kitchen before he decides to try and get me back.

"you are such a man child!" he calls and I laugh.

**Back to Rye's POV**

I admire the ring on my finger as I sit on the side of the bathtub waiting for it to fill up. I pour soap inside so it fills with bubbles. When it fills I turn the water off go out to the bedroom and gather some petals. I make a trail from the door to the bathtub then drop a few onto the foam.

I take some sweet smelling candles out of the cabinet and place them on the edges of the large bathtub. I grab a lighter and light them then dim the lights.

This will be my new way to get him turned on because when there are candles and dimmed lights he knows what'll happen next.

I undress and step into the hot water. I sit down and lean against the wall and wait. He comes in a few minutes later looking at the petals on the floor. He looks and sees the candles again and he smiles. He shuts the door. He has a plate in his hand, and the food smells really good.

He sees me in the bathtub and sets the food on the stair. He pulls down his sweat pants and steps out of them. He's naked now. I smile and lift my leg out of the water a little. He gets in and sits next to me. I put my left hand on his shoulder and then rub his cheek gently. "I love you" I whisper. "I love you too" he says and turns my head to kiss me. He kisses my jaw every so softly, then my neck. "You hungry" he whispers. I nod and he reaches and grabs the plate he brought in.

Cheese Omelet and bacon. Yum. He feeds it to me piece my piece and it's really good. I take the plate and feed him, "you never ate" I whisper. He smiles and opens his mouth for food. I feed him a few pieces of bacon and omelet. I pick up a shrimp and eat it.

When the plate is empty he puts it back onto the step then goes back to kissing me. "Don't give me any hickeys" I say. He bites my neck anyway and I giggle, "You don't listen". He chuckles and put his hand on my breast and massages the nipple with his fingers. He licks my neck and bites it. His hand slides down between my legs and into me. He kisses me and fingers me. I moan into his mouth and swirl my tongue around his.

He sticks a second finger into me and fingers me harder. I moan and my head falls back. I look at his arm that is under the water and grit my teeth, "yea" I whisper through my teeth. I sway my hips as he does it harder. The water is making small waves. Haul takes his hand away and has me sit on his lap. I rise a little bit and slowly stuff him into me which is a little tricky because of all the water, but we manage.

I sway back and forth which drives us both crazy. I put my hands on his shoulders then into his hair, which makes it all foamy. I keep my lips on his and breathe through my nose. "I might consider skipping school today just so we can keep going" he whispers breathlessly and I smile. "we cant. We have to be able to run out of the school like maniacs just to show how happy we are…" I say rubbing my breasts on his chest. "…then we can continue when we come back" I finish. "okay" he says and we wash off.

I dress In my jeans from yesterday and my boots. I pull on a long sleeve red shirt and pull the sleeves to my elbows and put on a black vest. And my gray beanie. Haul puts on some baggy jeans and sneakers, a black tanktop and a plaid blue button down shirt over top.

We grab our bags and head downstairs, say by to Holden and leave. We walk to school and by the time we get there the bell is ringing. I kiss him goodbye and head off to homeroom.

_**{Fast forward}**_

**Day of the reaping**

I wake up before rye and roll out of bed. It's reaping day and I really am not looking forward to seeing who might get picked. I stretch my back and yawn. I notice how rye is laying under the covers looking so comfortable. I suddenly want to wake her up, and just love her until it's time to go. I climb back into bed and move the blanket. She's curled up. Usually if I move her while she's sleeping she would jump up scared, but she trusts me and sleeps a lot more soundly now.

I move her from her side to her back. She only has on a bra and underwear. I reach under her and unclip her bra then slowly and gently slide it off of her. I put her hands down softly. I throw her bra behind me and reach for her underwear. I slowly inch it off and pull them off of her feet. I toss them too.

I take my penis out of my night pants and spread her legs open. I slip inside of her and she goes, "mmm" and moves her hand to scratch her head. I move up and wrap her legs around me. I start to push slowly then speed up when I notice she doesn't react. She exhales and then starts to breathe heavily. I push harder and hit the back the way she likes it and she moans. Her back arches and her eyes fly open. She props herself on her elbows and says, "You're so sneaky". I laugh and lean in to kiss her.

I pick her up by her hips and get out of bed and put her against the wall. We've been having sex everyday this week, just to make sure she gets pregnant. No results yet.

We spend an hour against the wall, and on the floor. I come in her about twice and soon I can't continue. I'm too tired. We lay in bed and just enjoy each others presence. The reaping starts in half an hour and I recommend that we should get ready.

I put on a tan button down shirt and brown pants, so I look simple. I don't do a thing to my hair.

Rye puts on a cream colored dress that's silky and goes to mid-thigh and white shoes. She puts her hair up in a bun with a pretty butterfly pin to match. She twirls in the mirror and I grab her hips and pull her over to me, "our last reaping. There's nothing to worry about" I say and kiss her.

We go down stairs with Holden and leave out. We head to the justice building with the other kids. Holden gets on the stage with booker and the other two victors and sits down in a chair. As I line up I notice booker staring at rye. He's probably wondering why she stopped coming around, it's been almost two months.

I stand in the very back with the other eighteen year old boys. I put my hands into my pockets and wait as the mayor gives his speech. Lane Mole the woman who from the capitol who reads the slips welcomes us. "Welcome! Now. As you all know I am here to announce the names of our tributes, who will participate in the 60th hunger games. May the odds, be EVER, in your favor."

I don't need to worry, rye and I are safe, snow said so.

Lane goes to the boys bowl first and takes the first slip, "for our boy tribute we have….Frent Char". A young boy about the age of fourteen walks up on stage. He's well built with dark brown hair. I feel bad for him though. "and for our girl", she goes to get a slip and reads, "Rye Hemlock".

**I apologize if the last part, after it says 'day of the reaping' was terrible, I was being rushed by my brother. When I'm rushed I feel pressured and I still do feel that way. Anyways this was the last chapter and next I'm going to make a sequel for this. I don't have a name for it yet, so anyway I'll see you in the next story.**


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